Throw away the key.

I'm looking back, but I can't see it anymore. It's blurry, it's smudged, and it's no longer the image I used to see. The images that I once thought were burned into my memory, the scars unwilling to fade. Suddenly I'm searching for the doors still open, but they are locked. Not just locked though, they are boarded up, caution tape wrapped around, not even a keyhole. I start to realize that maybe this is it. This is the letting go. The doors to my past are closed, windows to my darkness are filled with light. This is the beginning of something new. 

I didn't think I would be ready this quickly. What about the dwelling, contemplating, over thinking of it all? The coulda, shoulda, wouldas? There was none of it. The part of me that's part of you was left on the tarmac, and when the plane took off into the night and landed in the concrete jungle, something inside me shifted.

There's an openness about me now. Open to loving in a new way. A way that says " whatever you do is okay." Unconditional within some conditions. Chances will be taken, risks that risk going to far. Life's too short for anything less than doing what you want right now. Spending time with those who bring the best out in you, who raise you up, who make you smile, smile with your heart. 

If by some chance you give in to what is meant to be, and you believe that everything happens for a reason, then everyday will be a gift and a lesson. 

Cherish those who come into your life unexpectedly. They are the most important teachers you will meet.

Cleaning out my Closet

Cleaning out my wardrobe is so therapeutic. It Signifies a reinvention of self. The start of something new. Embracing change and discarding the past. Past hurts and ego slights be gone. New outfits, new memories. So many of my wardrobe pieces tell a story. Some sad, some happy, some I wish I could remember. One of those "morning after the night before" moments. I'll miss them as I'll miss you. But just like you they no longer serve a purpose for me. They are torn, some faded, some broken, some just no longer in season. And some were just fads, a phase and moment in time when we thought they were the most important piece to have, because everyone was doing it. As we look back at how ridiculous they really were, and what a terrible mistake it was, we wish we could return it. Forget about it, shove it in the bottom of our closet of memories. When it's time to fill our closets with all things beautiful we will head to the nearest Barney's, Bloomingdales, or Holts, and search. We will pick ourselves up and re-build. Rebuild our wardrobes and re-build our hearts. Reinvent ourselves, into the ever changing, ever growing woman we are becoming. 

And when you see us on the street you'll think to yourself: How did I let myself lose someone so beautiful, so strong, and so sure of herself. 

The answer: You never had her in the first place. 

 "Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together." 

- Elizabeth Taylor