It's funny how so much of your life can change in a matter of minutes. Usually I am one to embrace change, to seek it. Right now I find myself going against it, pushing away from it, attempting to run and escape it. When events happen that hurt me or sadden me I always search for the reasons and the lesson. What is to be learned? What went wrong? What part did I play? I truly believe the people who come into my life are teachers, with their own degrees of uniqueness. I learn so much from each of them, whether they are in my life for a day or eternity. I cherish the memories with each. So much has been thrown at me these past few days, but nothing I can't handle. My strength and resiliency is deeply rooted from a life of obstacles. It's tough for me to re-open a door once it has been closed. To open it again after trying so hard to finally get it locked. The past pushing through like the wind slamming a door against a wall. When it's over it's over, but what if it never really begun? What if we close something we never gave the chance to grow? We hide our hearts with closed hands and buried chins, we shut the lights off in the room when the light is just beginning to shine through. Sometimes I'm too tough, or I think I am. I shut people out without giving them a second chance. Never hearing my voice again. I invest so much in the people I care about, I love them whole heartedly. When I get hurt something shuts off inside of me, sirens go off telling me to stop giving, stop caring. Part of change is growth. If I keep doing the same thing over and over, I will keep getting the same result. When do we know who is worth fighting for? Who is worthy of a second chance?
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