You'll think of me...

You may not know me, or you may not know me anymore. 

When you see a smile that never stops, you'll think of me. 

You'll think of me when your laughs fade and the lonely eve sets in. 

You'll think of me when the high comes down and the emptiness can no longer be numbed. 

 You'll think of me. 

You may not know me, but you will. 

 I am the unnerving strength that cannot be broken. 

I am the friend who will stand by you even when you are wrong.

 I am the woman who has been broken, and pieced together, and loved, and broken again. 

I am the eyes that see right through you. 

I am the eyes that turn a bright green when tears fill them. 

I am the obstacle hurdler. 

I am the dreamer who dreams bigger then you can fathom.

 I am the dreamer who makes the dream reality. 

I am the ultimate optimist. 

I am the sarcastic, the sexual, the not so sugar coated son of a gun. 

I am the loudness you hear on the other side of the wall. 

I am the hopeless romantic.

I am the definition of pisces. 

 I am your past. 

I am the future.

Cleaning out my Closet

Cleaning out my wardrobe is so therapeutic. It Signifies a reinvention of self. The start of something new. Embracing change and discarding the past. Past hurts and ego slights be gone. New outfits, new memories. So many of my wardrobe pieces tell a story. Some sad, some happy, some I wish I could remember. One of those "morning after the night before" moments. I'll miss them as I'll miss you. But just like you they no longer serve a purpose for me. They are torn, some faded, some broken, some just no longer in season. And some were just fads, a phase and moment in time when we thought they were the most important piece to have, because everyone was doing it. As we look back at how ridiculous they really were, and what a terrible mistake it was, we wish we could return it. Forget about it, shove it in the bottom of our closet of memories. When it's time to fill our closets with all things beautiful we will head to the nearest Barney's, Bloomingdales, or Holts, and search. We will pick ourselves up and re-build. Rebuild our wardrobes and re-build our hearts. Reinvent ourselves, into the ever changing, ever growing woman we are becoming. 

And when you see us on the street you'll think to yourself: How did I let myself lose someone so beautiful, so strong, and so sure of herself. 

The answer: You never had her in the first place. 

 "Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together." 

- Elizabeth Taylor

Let this be a mother fucking lesson

Let this be a mother fucking lesson

A lesson to what we put up with and what we throw away.

Who we allow back into our fragile hearts and who we lock out forever.

Fool us once shame on you

Fool us twice shame on us

Let this be a lesson to never make someone your priority when you remain their option.

A toast to the perverts, the sick ones, the troubled ones, the lying shady ones.

The ones who are looking for an easy fix, the ones who want to treat a woman like an object rather than a prize.

A toast as they pave their way to loneliness.

For you will never be committed to woman with this behaviour, and if you are then she isn't a woman.

She's just as lost as you.

A toast to being lost and sick together.

And I hope they learn a lesson too.

To never underestimate a women's self respect.

To never underestimate the power of love.

Love for herself, and the love she hopes for.

Real love.

Love without bounds.

Consuming, can't live without each other love, as Carrie would say.

That's what we are looking for.

Someone to say you are the only one for me.

Someone to say you make me want to be a better man.

And if it's anything less then that, you can bet everything you have she'll be gone.

It's the most important trifecta you'll ever bet on, and if you don't have all three, or you are an underdog in the race, you better have something that no one else has.

Love, honesty, respect paves the way to commitment, to health and happiness.

This is what fuels us, what keeps us going. 

This is what brings the best of two people out.

Let's the light in when there was only darkness a short time ago.

We believe in this with everything we have, no matter the heartache we feel in the present.

In a short time this feeling of anxiety, of anger, of sadness will soon be in the past.

She'll forgive him, but she'll forget him too.

So here's a toast to the past, the present, and most of all the future.

- Nicole Ervin

Second Chances are Rare in this town of love.

It's funny how so much of your life can change in a matter of minutes. Usually I am one to embrace change, to seek it. Right now I find myself going against it, pushing away from it, attempting to run and escape it. When events happen that hurt me or sadden me I always search for the reasons and the lesson. What is to be learned? What went wrong? What part did I play? I truly believe the people who come into my life are teachers, with their own degrees of uniqueness. I learn so much from each of them, whether they are in my life for a day or eternity. I cherish the memories with each. So much has been thrown at me these past few days, but nothing I can't handle. My strength and resiliency is deeply rooted from a life of obstacles. It's tough for me to re-open a door once it has been closed. To open it again after trying so hard to finally get it locked. The past pushing through like the wind slamming a door against a wall. When it's over it's over, but what if it never really begun? What if we close something we never gave the chance to grow? We hide our hearts with closed hands and buried chins, we shut the lights off in the room when the light is just beginning to shine through. Sometimes I'm too tough, or I think I am. I shut people out without giving them a second chance. Never hearing my voice again. I invest so much in the people I care about, I love them whole heartedly. When I get hurt something shuts off inside of me, sirens go off telling me to stop giving, stop caring. Part of change is growth. If I keep doing the same thing over and over, I will keep getting the same result. When do we know who is worth fighting for? Who is worthy of a second chance?

Sweet Summertime

The moments alone

 Caught reminiscing of times spent and time lost 

We will always have the summer 

Sunnies and Sangria

 Getting Vitamin D while drinking Vitamin C's

 Friendships formed forever together 

Love gained love lost 

Lust forever

 Let's sleep under the stars 

Just you and me

 Wrap me in your arms Just breathe

 Meet me again in the concrete jungle

 I may see you again in the best coast west coast

 If not then meet me at a beach

 I'll bring the wine

 baby sweet summertime